Monday, November 10, 2008

Thoughts on and from the ward...


Tonight I got together with some friends from my singles ward. Amongst the food and conversation we reminisced about "the good ol' days" (none of us still attend the ward). We even busted out the year end DVD from a couple of years ago and basically laughed ourselves silly. It was good to be with some old friends and it was really good for me to remember the experiences I had in the Roosevelt Ward. Even though I found that it was time for me to move on from there, I will be eternally grateful for the great leaders, friends, lessons, activities etc that formed a HUGE part of my life. It will forever be the best singles ward I had the opportunity to be a part of and it was good to remember/feel that again.


Moving on... As mentioned in my last blog, my new ward is quite interesting. Heidi and I decided that a quote book is a must for our experiences there. Yesterday in church I was reading some of the stuff from past weeks and decided it was time to post some of the quotes on here. I realize that some of them might be "you just had to be there" quotes but I'll post them nonetheless. Disclaimer: names have been changed to protect the innocent.
October 12th, 2008--Fast Sunday
-As we stand to be read in as new members of the ward, a man enters the chapel yelling and throwing a fit. We stood for a very long time. Can you say awkward?
-The therapy dog is the first one to the pulpit.
October 25th, 2008--Primary Program
-We find out that we are now officially considered of High Priest age. There is a fireside for High Priests and their wives...plus all single women over the age of 31.
-During the Primary program Brother "Lucky" (he looks like a leprechaun) gets up and starts taking pictures of the children while they are performing.
-Our Relief Society teacher, Sister "Smiley", is on some sort of an upper. Or multiple uppers.
-A man from Jamaica says something to Heidi but she didn't know he was talking to her. I thought he said to her, "I like your bra." Later he said it again, "I like your brown." We think he meant her brown bag?
-When passing out hymn books, a woman says, "Sorry, I can only see out of one eye, okay? Thanks for sharing."
November 2nd, 2008--The Callings
-Heidi and I are called into the bishop's office-together-and are called to be Sacrament Meeting greeters-together. We thought moving to a family ward would have gotten us away from made-up callings. We are asked to coordinate reverence measures for our ward.
-When the counselor in the bishopric findso ut that our condo faces his street he confesses that he has always liked "snoopy" kind of things and that if he lived in a tall building he would have binoculars so he could see what everyone is doing. A) creepy! and B) why would you divulge that to new ward members?
-The therapy dog yelps during the sacrament prayer.
-Sister "Tina-look-alike" bears her testimony and says she doesn't know who to vote for as president. She says, "I wish God or Jesus was here because I only want to vote for them."
-Sister "Dachsund" bears her testimony about finding her teeth-the good ones for the top-inside her couch.
-The therapy dog is napping on his bath mat (yes, I said bath mat) but almost loses his life because his owner has also fallen asleep and drops a binder smack onto the mat.
November 9th, 2008--Greetings to all
-We begin our calling and hand out programs and our reverence flyer. I fail at keeping the reverence as the first lady I try to greet is so deaf that I finally end up practically yelling "How are you today sister?"
-A man who sounds exactly like Chewbacca from Star Wars randomly breaks out into scary noises and yells all during the meeting.
-Sister "Therapy Dog" stands up to give the opening prayer and nearly has a heart attack when they lower the pulpit for her. She screams and jumps back from the microphone.
-We are sustained for the 2nd week in a row as the ward greeters. What exactly does this mean?
-When talking about the signs of the 2nd Coming, Sister Dachsund wonders if the "moon turning to blood" may have aready been fulfilled because man has walked on the moon and those men had earthly blood in their veins. Very loose interpretation to say the least.
Oh yes, my friends. Good times are had by all at the Ninth Ward. So please feel free to join us any Sunday from 1-4 p.m. on the corner of 5th South and 3rd East. Or at the very least, stay tuned for more updates from the quote book!
P.S. FOR SOME REASON THE FORMATTING ON THIS POST WOULDN'T CARRY OVER SO I'M SORRY IT'S ALL SHOVED TOGETHER WITH NO SPACES. I TRIED!

11 comments:

kylem said...

The Roosevelt Ward missed you too! Your account of your ward brought me to tears (and that almost never happens). Please keep sharing.

KH said...

You were sustained twice, cause they wanted to make sure you hadn't run away yet, like probably many other previous ward members have. This is excellent, I was laughing so hard, Wade came over and tried to see what I was laughing at. HA HA HA!

Cory or Cari said...

So glad you're back. I can't believe all of those events happend in such a short time period. So funny. Best of luck! I hope you are alright. Should I be sorry that I voted for the family ward?

Globe Trecker said...

You are hilarious! I bet you're missing the Roosevelt Ward now. I thought we had some "interesting" people there until I read your post. I wish our ward wasn't so darn normal. We miss the Roosevelt ward and the "quotes"

John and I just may come visit a testimony meeting. Seriously, we will.

Morgan said...

You don't know how badly I needed that laugh. Thank you. I LOVE your ward. It makes me miss our old ward in SLC. Between the savant named Ernie, the dope-smoking geriatric married to a tractor mechanic, the cop, the postman, and others -- good times were always had. Why did I never think to start a quote book too?!

I'm going to start this Sunday. I guarantee this South African ward will produce some great ones.

You should consider creating a whole separate blog dedicated solely to your quotes. Seriously...think about it.

In fact, I'm going to take this a step further and begin collecting them at work too. Finally, a real project I can sink my teeth into and be proud of!

Chanda said...

Love it!

Kim said...

Reading this post has made my day!

Travis Wilson said...

Why do the Mormons attract such "interesting" people. I mean, I have always thought your family (including extended family) is "interesting," but some of these quotes/stories make those people seem down right normal!

Benjamin said...

i logged onto your blog, hoping to read about the WWE smack-down you referenced on fb, but i found this posting instead. i am laughing out loud, trying not to wake up my kids whom i just put to sleep. you are hilarious. i can't wait to read about the smack-down. and although you are in a different ward, your comments are so universal!

Amy said...

did you know that the daschund has the face of Jesus Christ? She's mentioned a couple times in the past.

I miss the crazy antics of that ward... have you heard the companion dog licking? Gross.

Dainon. said...

Oh man ... I loved this for the bits on the therapy dog alone. What ward has its own dog anyway? Maybe I'll have to show up over there when they give me the boot. I'll leave kicking and screaming, too, you realize. Ah well.